I'm Not Interested, But Tell Me Anyway

How many times have you found yourself listening to someone talk on and on about a subject for which you had absolutely no interest? Did the person sense your lack of interest or did they find a receptive spirit that encouraged them in their sharing?

When one boy we had helped was still living with us as a working adult he would go into great detail about his work activities. We did not know his work acquaintances nor did we have any particular interest in learning about how he mixed the products to produce tortilla flour. However, we had to "listen with interest" anyway as the whole subject was of great importance to him. Frequently I have had students who were interested in paintball, video games, and other topics that are purely boring for me. But I tried to "listen with interest" as they shared every detail.

This is all part of the biblical admonition in Romans 12 to "consider others better than ourselves." It is not easy because we are usually just chomping at the bit to unload all kinds of details about things we are interested in even though our hearers have no desire to hear about them. The same chapter in Romans also tells us "not to think more highly of ourselves than we ought to think." Showing interest in the conversations of others will bring a measure of grace to their lives. Perhaps no one else is available to show some attention to their pursuits. Even though it is sometimes difficult, let's discipline ourselves to be good listeners.

How Do You Smell?

No, this is not an article about how your nose functions. However, smell does play an important role in our lives. There are even products on the market that are part of an aromatherapy concept. Last night my wife's foot was aching and she massaged it with some peppermint foot rub. She commented on how good it felt. Now I don't believe that foot rub has any medicinal qualities but the strong peppermint aroma and the massaging action combined to give a pleasant feeling.

We are told in scripture that "we are the aroma of Christ" (II Corinthians 2:15). Our presence around others should result in their attraction to us and to God. Unfortunately, we sometimes repel people just as if we had body odor. I have a really good rapport with one of my junior high students. The other day he came up to me smiling and said, "I'll smell you later." You have to understand the junior high mind to appreciate that statement. I knew it came from someone who liked me and enjoyed being around me. I had been told by another source that I am his favorite teacher. While I must carefully help him to realize that you shouldn't go up to a teacher and say things like that, I also am encouraged that the aroma he senses from me is pleasant.

What kind of aroma do you have? Do others enjoy being around you? Do they sense a pleasantness that draws them? Is Christ being felt through your life? These are extremely important considerations as we attempt to bring grace and encouragement into the lives of others.

Make Me A Telescope

In our junior high science class we are studying telescopes. We learned that the general function of a telescope is to gather, intensify, magnify and clarify the light from the star or other object being observed so that the viewer gets an image that is accurate.

Our lives are like telescopes for other people. As the daily events of our experience are collected, they are viewed by those all around us as filtered and presented by our outlook. The image people see is that of our faith and the One who gives us that faith. Our response to the daily events can either project a clear trust in God or desperation.

We have learned that my wife now faces back surgery due to an accident she was in a few months ago. As I have observed her and we have talked together I have seen a clear picture of her faith. She inspires me to trust even more in God than I ever have. I in turn have tried to share our total dependence on God with my students at school. When I told them that even though times are going to be difficult physically and financially that we totally expect God to meet our needs they seemed amazed at our peace. I hope that we can continue with such a strong faith that others are amazed. We want their attention focused on the One who is fully trustworthy with our lives.

This should be the desire we all have. As events unfold in life we must seek God's help to be a magnifier of his grace. In so doing our faith will become stronger, our peace will be maintained and others will be drawn to know this wonderful God we serve.

Make The Pain Go Away

I think today's title is a play on a movie or song lyric "Make the Rain Go Away" but I couldn't locate it. However, it does express our sentiments regarding unpleasant events, feelings and situations. Any time we have relationships there is the danger of pain associated with the problems that arise in them. Avoiding those problems will, of course, make the pain go away.

One biblical family was certainly plagued by relational problems that created great pain. We can learn from their experiences. Isaac, Rebekah, Jacob and Esau made up the biblical family that was in the line of God's blessing. When it came time for Isaac to give the blessing to his firstborn, his wife Rebekah and other son Jacob used deceit and manipulation to steal the blessing away from Esau. The result was disappointment, fear and separation. Jacob ran from his family and experienced similar treatment at the hands of his father-in-law to be. Both Jacob's immediate family and his extended family suffered. Only upon returning to his home with fear and uncertainty did Jacob discover the willingness of Esau to forgive and love him.

What an example this family is for us. Instead of deceit and manipulation we must be careful to interact with others with love and forgiveness. Instead of despair and disappointment we will be able to give them grace. Let's evaluate our motives and methods of interacting with others and make sure we make the pain go away.

Think It So, Make It So

While mind control of objects, situations or people sounds like science fiction, there is a type of mind control that is essential to good relationships with others. The Bible summarizes it In I Corinthians 13: 7 by saying “ [love] bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things”. The key phrase is “believes all things”.

This does not mean that we believe everything we hear about someone. Rather, we believe the best about others so that what we hear is questioned until we know differently. We do not go around expecting the worst from a person, but rather the best. Our expectation of another person is set at its highest rather than its lowest.

Such an attitude paves the way for the best possible relationship with others. We might actually propel them along by our expectations. Teachers have discovered this principle. Often what we expect from a student is exactly what we get. Having high expectations that are communicated in what we say and how we respond to others goes a long way to lifting that person up to the level of our expectation. Of course, it can work the other way also, causing them to respond at a lower level because of our lower level of expectation.

Why not try some “mind control” in your relationships. See if you don’t have a better outlook on others. Notice how they seem to do better and respond better as well.

Will The Real Friend Please Stand Up?

An old TV game show featured three people each claiming a unique job, skill or accomplishment. Then a panel of celebrities took turns asking questions to determine which of the three were telling the truth. Two of the three contestants had to lie and deceive the panel, and the more successful they were the more game money they received.

Sometimes we function as if we were those fake contestants. We want to conceal our real identity from those around us. We put on a pleasant face, nice sounding words and do our best to keep others from knowing the real us. However, our prize for this accomplishment is not a positive one like the game money. It is the lack of relationships or weak relationships at best.

Good relationships are built on mutual honesty. I found that my students appreciated this in me as a teacher. I might have joked that I never made a mistake, but I used my past mistakes and successes as illustrations to teach right choices to them. The result is that I became a real person to my students not just someone on a pedestal with whom they could not identify. This principle works in any relationship. The more real we are with others the more they feel they can be real with us and a trust develops that enables us to encourage, comfort and bring grace to one another. Be real today and look for the opportunities God provides for relational ministry.

The Thought Police

As society becomes filled with more and more evil the effort to prevent terrible acts increases. Much debate is heard regarding how far the government or any other entity may go in observing and recording our conversations and plans. Some fiction writers have even invented the concept of thought police who would be able to intercept our unexpressed thoughts.

Of course no one can know our thoughts except one and that is God. However, God does tell us that we should be our own thought police. He warns us that "as a man thinks so is he". We are told in Romans 12 "not to think more highly of ourselves than we ought". We are also advised in that same chapter to "esteem (think of) others as better than ourselves."

What we think about others will certainly impact our relationship with them. The first step in establishing a new relationship or resolving problems in an existing one is to have the proper thoughts regarding the person. On one occasion I was greatly hurt by another Christian. For a while we did not see each other. Later that person came to church where I was attending. Still having that hurt within, I had to police my thoughts and remind myself that he was a brother in Christ, that everyone makes mistakes and that God had forgiven him. So, when we passed by each other in the foyer of the church I was enabled to extend my hand and greet him pleasantly. The repair of our relationship had begun.

Policing our thoughts is one of the most difficult tasks we have. Our enemy is there to plant new unacceptable thoughts immediately. We must fill our minds with positive, Christ-like thoughts in order to win the battle. Become the officer of your thoughts today.

What Can I Do For You?

Usually when we think of bringing grace into the lives of others we think of things we can do for them or counsel and encouragement we can offer them. We might accomplish this by volunteering at various service agencies or as a tutor at our child's school or even for a ministry within our church. We definitely receive a sense of blessing and of having blessed another.

However, it is possible that those we intend to serve and enrich actually feel useless because someone else is doing for them while they cannot do things for anyone. Another way of sending grace to others is to allow them to have a part in our own lives. We tend to avoid that as it makes us feel dependent and perhaps obligated. Yet, graciously accepting the ministry and service of others on our behalf enables them to experience the grace of giving.

My wife and I have had to experience such a reversal. For years she has given grace to me as she carried on the normal chores around the house. Recently, due to an auto accident injury I have had the opportunity to serve her by assuming some of those chores. It has been difficult for her, but good for me. Not that it is fun to have all the extra chores, but it helps me to appreciate her and to experience the good feeling of doing extras for her.

In all our relationships we need to be willing to serve and be served. The result is both persons get and give a blessing. What we can do for someone else may often be just to allow them to do something for us.

Teamwork Builds Relationships

Most of us tend to forge ahead with a project. We would rather "do it ourselves" than wait for someone else to do their part. I can't even count the times I have said, "If I want it done right, I'll do it myself." Often we can justify this way of acting and thinking by pointing out the obvious failure of society in general to follow through on responsibilities. Both individuals and businesses just don't seem to get the job done.

However, in the case of personal relationships this attitude only complicates the problem. Parents know, or should know, that part of proper child rearing is to teach their kids responsibility and worth by including them in the family team. Any wise employer or other leader realizes that if he wants the employees to produce they must feel like their input and activity counts. They must feel like they are part of the company. The problem is that the more people are excluded from that teamwork concept the more they become uncaring and irresponsible about the goals of the team.

At school I try to convey to the students the idea that we will learn, make discoveries and grow together. I want them to know that even as their teacher I have things to learn. I think that environment encourages them. Our student-teacher relationship is also improved by this approach. The same has been true in my experience in church ministries. People will cooperate and pull the load with you if they feel they are part of the team. If we convey the idea that we have all the answers and can do the job ourselves, then others will not respond and our relationship with them will suffer.

The Language That Never Lies

Unfortunately some relationships are not built on transparency. Each partner attempts to keep secret from the other the true feelings that reside within. Such dishonesty will soon bring disaster to the relationship. True feelings cannot be concealed indefinitely. Carefully chosen words will eventually give way to another language.

Body language reveals to others how we really feel about them. The facial expression or the actions that arise from true inner attitudes will betray the falsity of untrue words. Greater damage is actually done when there are two different messages. The recipient knows that what is said and what is felt is different.

Recently I noticed this played out in my wife's visits to two different doctors. One doctor was part of a large team in a corporate structure. His "bedside manner" communicated an uncaring attitude. He made my wife and me feel as if our opinion and thoughts were of no importance in her treatment. Then we visited a second doctor who was one of two in a smaller practice. This doctor treated my wife with graciousness, asking her input and showing personal care and concern. My wife's outlook was greatly affected. The first doctor left her discouraged and with feelings of hopelessness regarding the medical issue. The second left her upbeat and hopeful about her medical future.

Whether we realize it or not we all have a second language that speaks much louder and clearer than our primary spoken language. Our body language not only reveals our true person, but also has a significant affect on our relationship with others and on their feelings. Let's be careful what we say today both in our words and our actions and expressions.

How To Get a High

Most of us have our ups and downs from day to day. Of course, we prefer the up days. They come to an end leaving us more energy, a better outlook and positive anticipation toward the next day. When our day is going well we also enjoy better relationships with the people around us and they find us more desirable to be around.

As I was doing a study on the biblical word "delight", I discovered a key to having more of those up days and increasing the quality of relationships. I simply did a search on the word delight and found 551 occurrences in the Bible. A few had to do with consequences of delighting in undesirable things, but most referred to delighting in the Lord, his Word and in other good things. One verse contained a principle that jumped out at me. Isaiah 58:14 says, "Then you shall delight in the LORD, and I will make you ride on the heights of the earth; I will nourish you with the heritage of Jacob, your father, for the mouth of the LORD has spoken." Delighting in someone does cause that person to respond positively toward you.

Have you noticed that when you express delight in a family member, friend or other acquaintance that their response is conditioned. Seldom is there a negative reaction. What a great way to build a relationship. Look for something in every person that enables you to delight in them. It will give you and them a real high with none of the bad effects of getting a high some other way. The greatest high of all comes when we delight first in the Lord.

Let's Celebrate!

Everyone likes to celebrate. We celebrate various holidays all year round. Often those celebrations include family gatherings or special activities that enable us to depart from the routine of daily life for just a while. We are able to put the daily worries aside and join in the exuberance of the occasion. Afterward, we are refreshed and able to resume our regular responsibilities with greater energy.

Personal events also provide a time of celebration. Birthdays, anniversaries, the buying of a home, graduations and numerous other accomplishments provide opportunities to celebrate. Just as we enjoy the celebration when the holiday or event involves our rejoicing, so others enjoy it when they are the one rejoicing. Our participation in the celebrations of others brings joy and thankfulness to them.

As the school year has begun, I have collected the birthdays of all my students. When those special days come, I plan to send a greeting card to wish them a "Happy Birthday" and let them know that my concerns for them extend beyond the academics of the classroom. We all can build relationships by celebrating the lives of others. Is there someone today that you should encourage and join as they celebrate the events of their life? Note that the sidebar of this blog page includes information on how you can be involved in sending grace into the lives of others. Take a look and get started today.

If You Don't Like 'Em You Still Should Love 'Em

I have discovered over the years that there are many people that I just don't like. Sometimes I have been tempted to subscribe to Linus's philosophy of life. He once said, "The world would be a wonderful place if it weren't for people." Often those around us just have ways that really bother us. Perhaps they are overly conceited, or very braggadocios, or just plain inconsiderate. Such people challenge our efforts at building relationships.

This problem surfaced frequently between students at school when I was a teacher. When I told my students that they didnt  have to like everyone but they did have to love them, they looked at me as if I were from outer space. Loving others in spite of their faults is foreign to our natural human thinking but it is necessary. God tells us we are to love even our enemies. Certainly if we want to expand our relationships and enlarge our ministry of grace to more people we must learn to love even the unlovely.

Since God has shown his love to every person at great cost we are obligated to follow his example. The Bible says that even while we were his enemies Christ gave his life for us. He did that looking ahead to the possible relationship that He could have with each of us. Our cost to establish relationships is certainly not as great as his was. Let's put forth the effort today to love even those we don't particularly like.

Relief Is Spelled T-R-U-S-T

For the past three months my wife has had to seek relief from injuries sustained in a bicycling accident. She was struck by a pickup and knocked off of her bicycle. Thankfully there were no broken bones or injured organs. However, she has had significant pain from which she is trying to recover as the muscles heal from their bruising and tearing. All along the way she has had to trust other people. The emergency room staff did testing and reported their observed results. Our doctor has prescribed several powerful medications. The physical therapist put her through a series of procedures. In each case she was called upon to trust these providers. To the degree she felt she could trust them she could anticipate healing and be relieved of concerns about the process. When she didn't feel she could trust a provider she became discouraged and weighted down by concern.

Similarly, as school has begun, parents have met the staff with natural concern about the teachers to whom they were entrusting their children. Some new students were especially apprehensive about their first day. At the end of the first day yesterday parents came to pick up their children and see how it went. There was noticeable relief in the faces of some parents as they realized their trust in us was justified.

At my wife's work place her nearly 3 year olds just moved up to their next level and new teachers. One of the parents of a child she had cared for for almost three years expressed how good it has been to be able to go to work knowing that their child was in good hands. They trusted my wife's care. Another family has left their 2 1/2 year old with us for up to 10 days at a time at our home while they went on business and medical trips because they could be free of worry about his care.

When people know they can trust us it brings relief to their lives. However, once that trust is broken that relationship is damaged and much time is required to repair it. We each need to examine our trustworthiness. We can bring relief to the lives or others or not depending on how much they can trust us.

The Gas That Is Free

Our nation is powered by petroleum products. Recently their cost has risen and become a major budget concern for all of us. However, the consumption of gasoline has not declined. Because we consider the petroleum powered activities in our lives to be essential we are willing to pay the cost associated with accomplishing them.

Another essential area of life is our relationships. We cannot live in isolation from others for long without noticing a decrease in our joy of life. There may be a few who can feel comfortable with a solitary life, but most of us require the involvement and interaction of others to make our days complete and fulfilling. Just as automobiles are powered by a fuel so are relationships. However, our relationship fuel is free. It is called faith.

Our most important relationship between us and God is based on faith that he gives us. The Bible indicates that his gift of grace is accompanies by his gift of the faith needed to receive that grace. As a result we have an ever present companion in Him. Our daily relationships are nurtured by faith in one another as well. When someone fails in life or in our relationship we express faith in them by coming along side to encourage and uplift. We appreciate that same expression toward us when we mess up. Without that mutual faith our relationships would soon crumble and dissolve. Enjoy your relationships. Establish new ones. Using the power of faith we can be grace-givers to one another as well. Give away a little faith and grace today and make it a good day.

The Grace of Sharing

Sometimes sharing during group devotions isn't much more than a list of sick people for whom prayer is requested. While these are important to those sharing and provide opportunities for us to share grace through our prayers, they can become repetitive and seemingly insignificant in the stream of life.

In our group devotions yesterday a fellow worker shared a very moving experience that brought grace to me. Linda (not the real name) started out by telling us of her son's upcoming birthday. Not too significant, I thought. Then she proceeded to tell about his birth that was premature. She shared through tears his struggle to live. He couldn't breathe on his own. She told of the removal and replacement of the life support equipment over and over until he finally breathed on his own. She shared regarding the day she was discharged and had to leave her fragile son behind in the hospital. The whole description of her inner struggles was moving.

Then she made the statement that she began to ask God why this was being allowed. She told of being led to the scripture in I Corinthians 12:9 which says, "And He has said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness." Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me." It was obvious to me that the power of Christ was dwelling in Linda as she shared. Her story and that power bolstered me and minimized my petty concerns of the day. Thanks, Linda. We all need to turn to the grace provided by God and we all need to share with others when He moves in such a way.

The Gift You May Not Want To Give

Because school starts next week this week has been a busy one. The annual teacher orientation is underway and has already involved two full days of training and refresher sessions with tons of material to digest. Lesson plans are due Friday and that requires study and research for each subject, especially the new ones. Open House is Sunday afternoon and so the room must be sparkling clean and decorated to appeal to the eyes of students and their parents alike. Needless to say time is at a premium.

In the midst of this time demanding preparation I have found a new aspect of building relationships - being available. We have several new teachers who have many questions. Some have asked me to take time to show them computer technology for lesson plan books and grade books and to help them install and set these tools up on their computers. They have been most appreciative and thanked me abundantly for taking the time to assist.

Probably time is more precious to us than almost anything else. However, I have found that when I am willing to give of my time to others it not only blesses them, it also blesses me. We live in a fast paced society where time is guarded and the giving of time is viewed as an imposition. We have the opportunity to demonstrate the importance of relationships by giving this precious commodity. Give someone a little of your time today. It will bring joy to everyone.

Even When You Give It Away You Still Can Have It

When something great happens in our life we usually want to tell others all about it. We buy a new car and we can't wait to show it to our friends. We get a great new job and we are excited to tell others. We or one of our family members reaches a new milestone in life and we want to announce it to all. However, none of these shared experiences become the experience of the person with whom we are sharing. And eventually when we have shared them with everyone we can think of they become old news and we don't even bother to talk about them anymore.

There is something that never runs out no matter how often we share it with others. That is joy. What is joy? Some children were asked that question with interesting results. One child responded that joy is what Mom uses to do the dishes. Another said that Joy is his brother's girlfriend. But real joy is the result of an ongoing relationship. Other kinds of joy may be caused by temporary successes, events and circumstances, but they have an end. The joy of a relationship is ongoing and increases rather than decreases with time.

Of course the greatest joy creating relationship is with our God. In Psalm 16:11 the Bible indicates "You will show me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy; At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore." If we want joy that never runs out, we must have that relationship. When we do the inner joy that results will radiate out to others. They will benefit and we will continue and increase in our own joy. Someone once said that when our upward relationship is right then our outward relationships will be right as well. Try God's joy today.

A Great Gift To Give

Whenever an occasion arises that calls for a gift many of us are stumped as to what would be appropriate. Deciding on the right gift is very difficult when the person seems to have everything. Often we just end up getting something traditional. Men are candidates for a new tie or another tool. Women receive a box of candy or a bouquet of flowers.

Actually, we overlook one of the greatest gifts - appreciation. This is something everyone loves to receive. It doesn't have to cost much and can be given at any time for any occasion. However, it usually requires unusual action on the part of the giver. We don't think of this gift very often because we take for granted so many of the things others do for us.

Recently my wife was injured in a bicycle accident. As a result she was unable to carry out the usual homemaker activities. After a few weeks of washing dishes, cooking meals, doing the laundry and taking care of the pets I have realized just how much I had taken for granted the things she does. Probably all of us have someone who really puts out effort on our behalf that we haven't really noted. Our spouses, children, neighbors and even our bosses do things for us all the time that we just come to expect as part of life.

We all need to express our appreciation to others. Simple thank-yous where we have forgotten to say anything are a beginning. A card or memo of thanks is easily sent. My boss often puts a little note or piece of candy in my pay envelope. Little acts of appreciation like that say a lot and go a long way to encourage others. Let's get in the appreciation giving habit beginning today.

What Do You Need Most to Help Others?

Have you ever dreamed of finding a magic lamp that you could rub and have a genie grant wishes? Would your wishes be what you really want and need?

One story tells of a fellow who found such a lamp. Upon rubbing it the genie promised three wishes. The guy was elated and immediately asked for a new convertible for his first wish. When it magically appeared he proceeded to ask that it be filled with $100 bills. That wish too was fulfilled. Planning to give careful consideration to his third wish the guy decided to go for a drive in his new convertible. As he drove down the highway he was so happy he burst out singing, "I wish I were an Oscar Mayer wiener...." You can imagine the result for yourself.

We might smile at that, but are our wishes any better? We tend to pile stuff upon ourselves and then try to think of some more stuff that would make us contented. Of course, we don't really have a magic lamp or genie, but we do have a source of provision. God has promised to meet our every need. The biggest problem is knowing what we really need so that we can petition God with our request.

Perhaps the most famous request for something from God that comes to mind is that of Solomon. His request is held out as an example of real thoughtfulness. Solomon was the king and he was asked by God, "What shall I give you?" What does a king wish for? Solomon had a great position. He could order most anything he wanted from his subjects. But Solomon realized that with his inexperience he did have a need to enable him to be a good king.

We generally say that Solomon asked for wisdom which is basically correct, but listen to his words in I Kings 3:9. "...give to your servant an understanding heart..." Solomon realized the importance of his relationship with those he would govern. The Hebrew word for understanding is "listening," Solomon wanted a listening heart.

We all have that same need. People all around us just want someone with whom they can share their feelings and circumstances. Most of the time we have no time to listen because we want to do all the talking. Let's ask God to give us a listening heart today. Then we will be equipped to minister to one of the greatest needs people have which is for someone to simply listen.

Be Careful What You Give Away

"I gave him a piece of my mind!" Probably we have all said that. Probably we have all regretted having done so. Just today I read that in this day of emails and instant messages we put a lot less thought into what we say to others. With such quick communications we must be even more careful to observe the instruction of an old children's song, "Be careful little mouth what you say." We also need to realize the falsity of the saying, "Sticks and stones may hurt my bones but words can never harm me." In fact, it is words spewed out under pressure that weaken and destroy relationships. In Proverbs 15:1 the Bible puts it rather clearly when it says, "A soft answer turns away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger."

In my experience the best communication is face to face. We are much less likely to speak with negative, derogatory words when we are sitting down in the person's presence and observing reactions to our words. Communicating at a distance removes that referee of "presence." When the quickness and anonymity of emails and instant messaging are added, the results are often devastating to the relationship. No doubt that is why we are instructed in scripture to go to a person with whom we have a disagreement to work out a solution.

Next best to communicating face to face is writing to the person. When writing we have an opportunity to think through what we are saying and choose our words more carefully. Written communication can be changed before it is finally sent. That is not possible with words spoken. When writing we tend to be more responsible about what we say knowing that it is in a form that is on record.

This morning I noted a daily quote that said, "Our days are happier when we give people a bit of our heart rather than a piece of our mind." How true that is. Even when our communication is to express a complaint we ought to include thoughts that show a concern for the other person. While I know this procedure works, I must remind myself every time to follow it. While it may not be human nature to do so, the old adage, "Put your brain in gear before putting your mouth in motion" is certainly applicable.

Let's Go For A Walk

People everywhere have become more conscious of physical fitness. Many go walking every morning. Others ride bicycles. Still others have a fitness workout either at home, at work or at a commercial center. Regular physical exercise is essential for good health.

Another kind of "walking" we need to do is described in the Bible in Ephesians 4:1. There we are told to "walk worthy of the calling with which you were called..." and then a description of that worthy walk follows. What does it include? Four things are listed...

• Walk with lowliness and gentleness
• Walk with longsuffering
• Walk bearing with one another in love
• Walk endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit

That is a tall order but possible with God's help. Actually the fourth will take place if the first three are in order. Our relationships will be vastly improved if we walk in these ways. The first is simply humility. We must rid ourselves of the "me first" attitude. The second is simply patience, being willing to wait for the desired end. And the third might be defined as tolerance. This is not the tolerance that allows for immorality and wrong, but that tries to understand even when there is disagreement. This tolerance shows love even for the unlovely.

When humility, patience and tolerance are in place then we can enjoy the unity of the Spirit and our "walk" in this life will be filled with the fresh scent of Spring all year round. Begin each day by being reminded of the walk that is expected of us. It will change many things.

Hurry Up And Wait

Famous for today's title thought is the Army. However, the same process seems to be a part of everyone's life. We live in a world of deadlines. Failure to meet those deadlines results in consequences, lost opportunities and reprimands. This principle is one that students in school must learn as they complete their assigned studies. It is something we all must learn if we are to have success in life.

One of the most frustrating aspects of this process is the fact that after we have hurried to meet deadlines and requirements imposed upon us we then have to wait for an anticipated response. It seems that responses take far longer than the time given for us to comply with requests. Refunds take forever. Raises and promotions are delayed. Expected answers by phone or mail never arrive and have to be followed-up several times. We begin to wonder about this one-sided "hurry up and wait" philosophy.

Unfortunately, this philosophy and our reaction to it has crept into personal relationships. We have become unresponsive to others and they to us. We must practice patience as we interact with people even more than in the business and professional sphere. Now patience is not easy, but it will be noticed. On those occasions when I have bit my tongue and waited patiently I have often heard, "Thank-you for being so patient." So let's put it to the test. Try practicing patience in relationships and notice the improvement that takes place between you and that other person.