Be Careful What You Give Away

"I gave him a piece of my mind!" Probably we have all said that. Probably we have all regretted having done so. Just today I read that in this day of emails and instant messages we put a lot less thought into what we say to others. With such quick communications we must be even more careful to observe the instruction of an old children's song, "Be careful little mouth what you say." We also need to realize the falsity of the saying, "Sticks and stones may hurt my bones but words can never harm me." In fact, it is words spewed out under pressure that weaken and destroy relationships. In Proverbs 15:1 the Bible puts it rather clearly when it says, "A soft answer turns away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger."

In my experience the best communication is face to face. We are much less likely to speak with negative, derogatory words when we are sitting down in the person's presence and observing reactions to our words. Communicating at a distance removes that referee of "presence." When the quickness and anonymity of emails and instant messaging are added, the results are often devastating to the relationship. No doubt that is why we are instructed in scripture to go to a person with whom we have a disagreement to work out a solution.

Next best to communicating face to face is writing to the person. When writing we have an opportunity to think through what we are saying and choose our words more carefully. Written communication can be changed before it is finally sent. That is not possible with words spoken. When writing we tend to be more responsible about what we say knowing that it is in a form that is on record.

This morning I noted a daily quote that said, "Our days are happier when we give people a bit of our heart rather than a piece of our mind." How true that is. Even when our communication is to express a complaint we ought to include thoughts that show a concern for the other person. While I know this procedure works, I must remind myself every time to follow it. While it may not be human nature to do so, the old adage, "Put your brain in gear before putting your mouth in motion" is certainly applicable.